Paul Mischler (misch) wrote,
Paul Mischler
misch

I'm sorry, Internets.

My mom told my dad that she wanted a pair of earmuffs for Christmas. Great. But she also made the mistake of mentioning that her father used to call them "earmuffins".

Guess what she got for Christmas?

Mom in her Earmuffins. (Image)

She got Earbagels too. Perfect for when you want to keep your ears warm, but also want to talk on your cell phone, or listen to your iPod.

The Earmuffins contained an instruction sheet. This is an excerpt from it:


Congratulations on being the proud recipient of a new pair of EARMUFFINS

Please follow the following safety and precautions while using your earmuffins.
  1. Your Earmuffins are made from the finest products available to man.  You should be proud to receive a pair of these exclusive products.
  2. Some Earmuffins may contain seeds or nuts.  Avoid birds and squirrels while wearing this product.
  3. For best results, wear these Earmuffins only indoors.
  4. If your Earmuffins smell like bananas, avoid monkeys, orangutans and low-land gorillas. (Highland gorillas are generally not a problem).
  5. On extremely cold days, your Earmuffins may be pre-heated in a microwave oven.  Always remove your Earmuffins from your head before placing them in the microwave oven and turning the microwave oven to the on position.

Thank you for choosing one of our exclusive products.

Watch for new and innovative products in the future!

*facepalm*
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